Experts say that a certain level of aggressiveness in children is natural. Parents can respond with advice or intervention, rather than punishing them with anger, yelling or hitting.
Behavioral problems in children, especially aggression and disobedience, do not need much pity, says Dave Anderson, a psychologist at the Child Psychiatric Institute in New York. “For a child to behave better, more empathy is needed, just like for children who may be depressed,” he said.
According to him, there is a persistent belief that these bad behaviors are a reflection of the poor work of parents with children, but in fact, a biological component often affects this.
In a study published last year, doctor Michael Lorber and his colleagues analyzed the behavior of 477 children aged 6 to 24 months, asking their mothers to report on certain child behaviors, including hand attacks. and feet, pulling other people’s hair, biting and hurting animals.
These behaviors were very present. Beatings were more frequent than animal injuries. These behaviors increased as the child grew. At the age of 18 months, children attacked more with their hands, while attacks with feet and attacks with various objects were more present when the children reached the age of 20 months.
The researchers say that parents should be reassured that these behaviors are normal in young children, but also advised to limit these behaviors and respond in helpful ways, by “surprising” the child with something else, rather than punish him.
Psychologists say that parents often misjudge negative behaviors, because they do not take care of them when they are playing calmly, and when there are conflicts between children, they respond with anger, threats and punishments.
According to experts, this way of responding is less likely to work in young children and teenagers.